This is My Doing!

"The disappointments of life are simply the hidden appointments of love." C.A.Fox

" Are you in difficult circumstances, surrounded by people who do not understand you, never ask your opinion and always push you aside?
This is my doing. I am the God of circumstances. You did not come to this place by accident-you are exactly where I meant for you to be.
Have you not asked Me to make you humble? Then see that I have placed you in the perfect school where this lesson is taught. Your circumstances and the people around you are only being used to accomplish My will."

All what I have written above is taken from the devotional, Streams of the Desert for February 1st under the title, "This is My Doing (1 Kings 12;24)

It was as if God was talking to me face to face, knowing the inner turmoil of my heart. I enjoyed serving as the Assistant Children's Ministry Supervisor in Bible Study Fellowship under the former Supervisor's leadership. I just blended in with the rest of the Children Ministries leaders and felt good and at ease with my duties. But when Linda (not the real name) took over something within me cringed in discomfort. I know it's not Linda's fault. She's doing a marvellous job. Dedicated and conscientous, she is trying to do her best to train her co-leaders.

Maybe this change of technique and Linda's somewhat demanding personality is making me uncomfortable. Frankly, I resent it. If I'm not careful I might give into satan's promptings and quit, giving some lame excuses. I thank God, I haven't given myself to such foolishness yet.

Todays's message, "This is My Doing." pierced through my heart and awakened me up. I had often asked God to mold me and when He heard my prayer and got into action,I've begun to resist and resent.
I wanted God to make me humble and when He had put me in a perfect situation to grow humble, I'm thinking of getting out of the situation and quit my job. How foolish and arrogant it can be in God's sight.

Lord, if this is Your doing, help me to  yield in with  a servant heart and serve You joyfully under any circumstances.

February 01,2006

The Power of Redemptive love

Every great book is written with the author's sweat and blood. In spite of his blindness, wasn't Homer the unparalleled poet of the Greeks? What about John Milton? And who wrote the timeless dream of Pilgrim's Progress? And who wrote Mere Christianity which sold millions of copies? Who wrote down the hymn Amazing Grace which continues to captivate the hearts of people of all walk of life? Was it the redemptive power or enchanting love which turned a slave driver to craft a hymn on grace, an atheist to turn out volumes of books explaining Christ's love and Christianity?

What has the redemptive power of Christ done to this fallen world? What has His amazing grace accomplished in this self-serving world? Words cannot be sufficient to record what it has don in the last two millennia.

But one thing is certain. If not for the love of Calvary and Christ's teachings on the Mount, Martin Luther King Jr. wouldn't have walked marched on the streets of America with a cry of freedom for his fellowmen or Gandhi wouldn't have taken up non-violence fight to free his country from colonial rule or Mother Theressa wouldn't have left the comfort of her homeland to serve the poor and untouchable in Calcutta or Bill wilson and many street saints like him wouldn't have brought hope and comfort to the hurting world. And most of all,you and I wouldn't have known or understood the meaning of love, hope and forgiveness.

                     IF
If all lips spoke the truth
All pride was cast aside
Greed was packed and stored away
And jealousy subside
If love could rule the universe
Kindness was sown to every race
Then one could glance into a mirror
And view God in his face.....
           
                 (poem IF written by a 16-year old girl on the street who was rescued by the Covenant House member)





January 21, 2006

Principles worth knowing to live as God's ambassadors

(Some tips I took from In Touch magazine Sept. 2005)

1. Accept where God has placed you and make the most of it. (Learn from Daniel, Joseph, Queen Esther in the Bible.)

2. Commit yourself to excellence relying on God to reveal Himself through you. (Learn from Moses,     Joshua, David)

3.Let God define your Identity.

4. Practice diplomacy in dealing with confrontational situations.

5. Approach relationships with respect, earn trust and learn to love.

6. Expect God's glory to blaze through the world you are living in.

7. " Never try to make your experience a principle for others, but allow God to be as creative  and original with others as He is with you." -Oswald Chambers.



(September 09,2005)

Where was God on the day Christ was crucified?

Father,
Where were You when Your Son
the only begotten one
hung like a criminal on the cross?
Why didn't You intervene when
lowly soldiers spat on His princely face
and whipped Him bloody on the way to Golgotha?

The One who promised to offer living water to others
cried out in thirst on that day for a sip of water
Why didn't You rain down water from heaven to quench His thirst?
When the King of kings and Lord of lords
was mocked, beaten and pierced for no committed sin
Where were You, who sent Him to earth with Your message?

Truly, You must have had the answer
to all the questions for those who loved Your Son
and cried out to You in desperation.
Yet, You kept silent
till history revealed it's answers and vital purpose.

Today, as I read the book Night by Elie Wiesel
I cry out to You with the same question
Where were You when six million Jews
were exterminated by the most cruel and evil manner on earth?
What were You doing when those people, called to be Your chosen ones
many devoted to You and Your ways  all their lives
were starved, shot or buried alive before their loved ones?

Where was the deliverance Moses praised about?
Joshua talked about
and David sang about?
Why didn't deliverance come to those helpless, innocent
young and old
who recited daily prayers and followed Your laws so dearly?

Why didn't you strike the oppressors dead and free Your people
As the Bible records in history?
the author of Night wrote that
his God has died on the night of that fateful day.
I wouldn't blame him, for I too would have written the same
if I had seen my father die before my eyes
and my mother and siblings going to the gas chambers.

How could I expect him or anyone in his place
to have faith or look up to You for any help?
Bear with me God, my thoughts are not Your thoughts
And my understanding is far below than Yours
The reason and purpose of the Holocaust I cannot fathom
and I don't want to fathom either
But You, O God, who has the last word
knew it from the beginning and kept silent
for reason You only know.

Was it already designed in Your plan
Or the freedom You gave mankind
You couldn't or didn't want to interfere
whatever reason it may be
I beg You and plead with You that
Never again, such a vicious act should happen
Never again, I cry out to You
People of any race or color be treated
or exterminated like this in generations to come.

Deliver us from hate and prejudice
Enable us to love and forgive
strengthen us to reach out across barriers of race, religion and ranks
And make us to choose mercy over doctrines.

(June 26,2006)

It's A New Day

Another day has dawned
The sun is shining
Clock is ticking
And the world is rising to another day.

Another Sunday
Some go to worship at church on this day
Some go to play golf on this bright sunny day
Some wake up to the blasting sound of bombs falling
And some wake up to the growling sound of empty stomach of their kids


The one thing that we all take for granted
however and wherever we wake up
We are blessed to see another day.
To be alive and to be free
Is truly a  gift from God.

This day has presented us with many choices
To love or to hurt others
To build or break relationships
To dream or to give up
To seek or to denounce
To accept or to reject
To trust or to suspect
To laugh or to lament

How we decide to spend this day
Would determine the day for those around me too
 If I'm thankful for all I have and all those around me
Each day will be a happy day, whatever trouble may come.

What if Christ hadn't come?

If Christ hadn't come this world we live in
would have been far bitter and cold
with no hope of eternity
and no faith to sustain  life.

Love would have lost its glow
Grace would have been a foreign term
Forgiveness wouldn't have become our choice
And mercy rarely be on display.

If Christ hadn't trodden this earth
Mother Theresa wouldn't have arrived in Calcutta
to touch and soothe the untouchable
And to serve the oppressed with untainted love and kindness

Martin Luther King wouldn't have marched on the streets
With his dream of freedom for his fellowmen
And a passion of equal rights to black, white and brown.

If Christ hadn't come to earth
Slave driver John Newton wouldn't  have
turned to be a slave himself to Christ
And  given us the most loved hymn-Amazing Grace.

If Christ hadn't come
Nicky Cruz-the leader of the toughest gang in New York
A man, high on hate and violence
Wouldn't have turned to God
And become a tool to bring fellow gangsters to love God.

If Christ hadn't come
I wouldn't be the person who I am today
And my life would have missed the joy
peace and contentment I'm blessed of today
amidst life's echo of trouble and uncertainties.

(July 05,2005)

The Human Condition

We are prisoners of time
Slave to circumstances
And beggars for eternity

We have made so small our souls
To match our situations
That in greed for trash
We have trampled greatness

And laughing at their prey
Time tightens the chains that bind us
Circumstance cracks the whip
That mark us;
Only eternity grieves
That we are fools.

                    -by Jan L. King Sr.

Poverty

Poverty is cruel, said those
Who have encountered it in its
various shades of crudeness.
It becomes more treacherous when
it grips you while young and helpless
and ripping away the hope to dream
smothering the desire to explore
and grinding you with hunger and prejudice.

It looks so unfair to the pauper
the sight of those who prosper
who live in big mansions
own boats, cars and jets in numbers
send their dogs to the spas to be groomed
and feed them with delicacies
which the poor haven't got even a chance
to taste or dream of.

What is more daunting and heart wrenching is that
those who hunger for food and those who prosper by owning
live in the same country, not far from each other
and not knowing each other's name or needs
But what's strange and unknown
to those who lack material wealth is that
those who glitter in diamonds
and zoom past by in limousines
also encounter poverty, but of another kind.

The poverty of love, trust, faith and peace of mind
Yes, not all that glitter brings joy to the heart
or add peace and  wisdom to your life.
You may be poor in world's standard
but wealthy in heaven's bank account.

The poverty of love, peace together
with that of kindness and trust is more pitiable
that the world in its busyness has not taken account.
Yes, poverty and world hunger need to be eradicated
yet, the poverty of love,trust and faith
also need to be addressed to have a better
world for you and me to live in the future.

(July 01,2005)

Laughter

Laughter, a great gift to mankind to keep him sane
And free of ills.
A life without laughter is like a night sky without stars
A dark valley with no light in the horizon
A home without laughter is like a violin without strings
A perfume without its fragrance
A pearl without lustre
Surely it would look like a place of gloom

God intends us to have laughter
Lots of them  if possible
Bellyful and heartwarming laughter
bring joy to the hearer and to the bearer
A baby's laughter melts the mother's heart
like the morning sun on misty meadows
Preschoolers laughter peels like chiming bells across the playground
Teenagers laughter echoing  down school corridors
brings up smiles on tensed up faces of teachers walking down the hallways.

Yet, why does such laughter find its way out
when childhood turns into adulthood?
Has the heaviness of responsibility
robbed us of our right to laugh?
Laughter is a medicine that oils the bones and marrow
says the Good Book and physicians.
Therapy of laughter is administered to the sick and lonely these days
to rejuvenate their souls and bring healing to their bodies

After all, laughter is free and cost nothing
Then, why is it missing in many homes at this day and age?
Families are existing like strangers under the same roof
with no jest for fun or laughter
Please bring back laughter in your lives, dear friends
laugh till your belly hurts and bring health and joy to your body
Laughter is contagious
So, lighten up the spirit of your surrounding with your laughter
However, be cautious that neither you nor  anyone around you
 laugh at another person and  bring pain for any reason.

(June 30 2005)

Solitude

                 Solitude

" Tell him to be alone often and get at himself
and above all tell himself no lies about himself
Tell him solitude is creative if he's strong
and the final decisions are made in silent rooms.
He will be lonely enough
to have time for the work
he knows as his own."
                     Carl Sandburg.

Yes, solitude can be creative when you are strong. And it can turn out to be a great blessing when your solitude is spent in the awesome presence of God. You may be the one and only person stranded in a deserted island with not even a crow to caw to keep you company, yet you will never feel lonely  because the spirit within you have all the time and freedom to talk, sing and even find answer to all the grueling questions you have never obtained solutions so far.

Yes, solitude is a necessity, especially in our era of rush and push culture where stopping to take a break seems like a toll or waste of time. Philosophy is born in the land of solitude. Worship becomes holy when quietness and solitude are in place.
If only people could see what a blessing solitude could bring, they would stop running after booze, sex, and other vices, they seek to escape loneliness.

Solitude need to be something sought after than to be escaped from. Only in times of solitude, your eyes open to see tiny ants rolling a dried up leaf on the floor or enjoy the smell of wild roses down the path ,the song of a lonely bird up on the branch or the lungful of sea breeze. Such enjoyment surely rejuvenate our body and soul to empower creativity. Great stories, songs and wisdom become the fruits of solitude.

Well, say no more-" Solitude is boring!" Do not be scared of loneliness. Instead, embrace it with openness whenever and wherever you encounter it. Relish in its comfort and reap its benefits to share with the world.

(June 23, 2005)

Devotion

The time we spend with God in prayer, in His Word
is considered as the time of devotion in religious term
But, in true sense, devotion means deep affection, dedication,
religious piety and so forth.

We need to ask ourselves  whether our time of devotion
truly reflects what it means,
Or it's simply a ritual, a habitual act
to satisfy our obligation to God.

If that's so, then the time I spend in such act
loses its flavor and worthiness
as a brewing stew its aroma and nutrition value
Although, the routine  habit serves in a way
to bring some discipline  to our prayer life in days of spiritual drought
if it's left likewise for long
the spirit within us become dull, lethargic and lifeless.

If our devotion takes the pattern of David, the psalmist
who enthralled in God's love and majesty
and yearned after God like a deer panting after water
we too would be entitled as man or woman after God's own heart
the greatest title worthy to be bestowed by God alone.

David didn't set the alarm to wake him up to have his devotion
Nor he needed a comfy chair and hot cup of coffee to stimulate his nerves
He had no fixed hour to worship his Lord
Every waking hour, whether he was still in his bed
Out in the field watching his sheep or hiding from enemies in the darkest cave
David, always found time to talk to God
and be entranced by the amazing grace and glory of his God.

David wasn't perfect in his life
But he is a perfect example for  devotion.
I pray that we too would yearn for God as he did
and come to value the blessings of true devotion.

(June 14, 2005)

Doubt

Have I ever doubted?
Sure, many a times.
Have I ever doubted the existence of God?
I'd say, "No," for I can never remember a day
I've doubted His presence.

I've doubted whether He'd answer my prayers or not
I've questioned certain passages from the Bible
whether they are man-written or God inspired as the godly say
Or whether they're written to only a particular culture
at a certain time in the history.

"The moment one believes, he automatically doubts,
doubt being the integral part of faith,"writes Malcolm Maggeridge.
And I would totally agree with him.
Doubts flip through our minds even if we are giants of faith.

Only when we question, we find the answer.
If not, ours become the blind faith which can turn us into fanatics
and make us to do atrocious things in the name of religion.
We have seen that happened in history and continue to see it
happen in many parts of the world.

We who believes in God should realize that
God is not intimidated by our doubts
His love and ways are far beyond the grasp of our intelligent brain
And He is in no way obliged  to provide us answers to each and every question of ours.

Life is a mystery that cannot be solved with facts and formulas
The Author of life have desired it to be so and let us be contented
with what we can find out, and leave the rest for Him to answer
Perhaps, in the far- away world beyond,when we meet Him face to face.

(May 30, 2005)

The Existence of an Invisible God

If I say, there is no God
I must be either totally blind both in my eyes and mind
Or I must be so arrogant to acknowledge Him
Whose handiwork and love he sees all around him.

How can I say that there's no God
when my eyes behold the beauty of the morning sky
with its lovely hues at early dawn
Or the dark starry night with shining arrays of twinkling lights

Even the blind with no sight never denied the presence
of the Almighty
For they keep the eyes of their heart wide open
to see Him in their mind and make heart thrilling hymns for us to sing

If they could raise their voice in praise worthy worship
how can anyone dare to proclaim there is no God?
Haven't they seen a sunset or mesmerized by slow fall of soft snow
Wondered about the growth of the baby in the womb to all perfection
Or their own bodies working so well-the heart, brain, lungs and liver
 coordinating  in perfect union that no regime with strictest discipline
could stand in comparison

You, who have denied God's existence for reasons only you know
Please take a moment to see God's love in the embrace of a loved one
His faithfulness in the rising of the sun day after day
His power in the sight of the vast ocean and sound of waterfalls.

Yes, poverty, injustice, war and tsunami do make us
question the love and existence of an invisible God
Yet, if we could realize we too play a part to make this world better or worse
we would stop blaming God for everything
And try to see, hear and know Him through good and bad around us.

(May 10, 2005)

Faith

Faith is that glimmers in your soul
for what you've yet to see

Faith is the mustard seed of steadfastness
that could move the mountain of obstacles.

Faith is the shimmering shield you carry as the armor
to fight the devil each and every day.

Faith is believing,-  believing in God's promises

Faith is patience- patient in long suffering

Faith is courageous-courageous in martyrdom
as well as hoping for the impossible

Faith is Abraham- the man who didn't backaway
when God asked him to sacrifice his beloved son

Faith is Mary- the young woman who surrendered to God's will
to become pregnant despite what Joseph or her community would think of her

Faith is the woman who touched the hem of Jesus robe
a daring thing to do in a crowd, but refused to give up hope

Faith is what the Lord expects from you and me
when the sea becomes rough
and our boats threatened to go down.

Faith is what He wants to see in our daily lives
more than in the songs we sing
Or in the words we write or preach.

(June 07, 2005)

Victory in Prayer Life

O Lord, my Redeemer
How my heart aches to know You more and more.
Like the deer that panteth for water
so my spirit longs for You more and more

But as You know, there are days
I sense my yearning  gone so dry
Having no desire to read Your word
or sit still to talk to You in private.

But, I know and I know
that even when I don't desire to choose a time to study Your word
or bend my knees before You in prayer,
the Spirit within me is constantly talking to You
Praising and thanking You all the time.

It's Your Spirit Who keeps me alive.
So, when the devil cackles with glee
And points his finger at me
in my driest days of prayer life
I can boldly  say to his face that he's wrong
for prayer is like a breath to me
and without it, he'll find me totally dead.

Though, that doesn't excuse me from
having a quiet and quality time with the Lord
to study His word deeper and to know Him more.
It's to say, doubts and dryness in spiritual life
comes and goes as waves in every believer's life (the so called saints included)
we don't need to get wallowed in guilt or surrender to defeat as the devil expects.
Instead, let's rise up and move forward as brave soldiers
bringing victory to our prayer life!

(February 10, 2005)

What Does Prayer Means To You?

Prayer is like a breath to me. Prayer is how I commune with God. It doesn't need to be long and wordy. Nor does it need to sound proper and religious. It is like a child talking to his dad in love.
It could be a few words a toddler could utter or a long heart to heart chat. Whatever  forms it may take, if it is uttered in sincerity, it becomes a fragrant incense in God's sight.

A word of thank you is a prayer. Awe and adoration in silence, with no words uttered counts a lovely prayer. A cry for help uttered towards heaven is also a prayer. A time of questioning and waiting for answer from Almighty is also counted as prayer.
Rules and formulas do not have much effect on prayer except that they bring some sort of discipline to our prayer life.
Posture and length too do not earn favor from God unless they are offered in right attitude  and sincerity of heart.

"Pray without ceasing," wrote apostle Paul in 1 Thessalonians 5:17. But, how could we pray non-stop? Doesn't that sound little too much?
Maybe not,if we understand him clearly. He is not asking us to be on our knees from dawn to night.
That was not Paul's suggestion and it wouldn't be comfortable to us or to anyone working around us.
He meant to keep our prayers simple, sincere and be able to offer them whenever and wherever we can. We should have the confidence that our loving God hears our prayers and we could talk to Him about everything that matters to us.

When you wake up every morning, a word of thank you to God  is a great way of greeting the day.
After all, being alive and to see a new day is gift. While so many have gone without seeing the day or ailing in sick bed or unable to see, hear, eat, walk or work, you have been blessed to see the day in fairly good health, shouldn't we be grateful for that? Who knows how we will be tomorrow? So, let us be thankful for each day we breathe in and breathe out.

If you see beautiful flowers or taste some juicy fruit or  hear the sound of rain drops on the roof later that day, try to send a word of thank you towards the One who created a beautiful world for you to live and enjoy.
When things at work become stressful, people around get difficult to interact, deadlines unnerve you, take a moment to ask for wisdom and strength to manage your day with confidence.
Temptations may come your way to divert your attention and lure to say a white lie, slack in your work, indulge in gossip or cheat in someway that appears harmless, stop and ask God's help to keep you strong and be un-wavered.

Involve God in every decision you make and in everything you do so that you wouldn't have regrets in the future.
At the end of the day, thank the Lord for His provision, protection and guidance. You may not be aware of the danger or accidents you have been protected that day. So, be thankful for being safe back home with your family without much trouble.
Praise the Lord whenever you feel like,thank Him for everything you have received that day and tell Him how much He means to You.
Let us give up the habit of " Give me, give me and give me more' type of prayers and seek His heart more than His hands.

(June 07, 2005)

Fear of the Lord

What is the fear of the Lord?
Is it the fear that comes out of guilt
that we would be punished by the wrath of God?
Or is it like the fear of a ruthless dictator
or a merciless evil king?

Is it the kind the thief gets when  caught red handed
and put in front of a stern judge?
Or is it the fear that a murderer faces
when the jury is about to read out the verdict?

Surely, these kinds of fear are horrifying
knee-knocking, throat parching, palm sweating
heart pounding and head swirling.
Well, does the Bible talk about this kind of fear
when it mention, "The Fear of the Lord"?
I do not think so.

In no way, we are worthy to stand before God Almighty
Who is holy, just and full of righteousness.
Our knees will surely bend, heads will bow
and our hearts will tremble before Him.
Yet, it's not because of a scare or a threat
but it's out of the fear that springs from awe and reverence instead

Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom
Fear of the Lord brings knowledge and understanding
Fear of the Lord is a treasure to those who trust in God
Fear of the Lord is a beacon to guide you in the path of life!

(May 31, 2005)

Prayer

Sweet hour of prayer, sang the psalmist
Who had tasted the sweetness of communing with God
In God's eyes, it doesn't matter
Whether our prayers last one hour long
or a said in a few minutes amidst baby's cry
It makes no difference  whether it's uttered on bended knees
standing upright or laying on bed

Posture and position carries no weight
Words of our mouth and songs of our lips
bears no merit
Unless they are offered from the depth of our hearts.
It's our hearts, not utterance in many words
that delights our God in heaven

When we thirst for Him as the deer pants for water
Our knees and hearts would bend down before Him on their own
In awe and adoration, when we approach God
tears would bathe our faces
And words would burst out in utter humbleness
At times, there would be just silence
Perfect stillness-holy and wordless

Prayer is like breath to me
A constant conversation with the Lord
There are times I'm too tired, lazy or not in a mood to pray
And I don't hesitate to tell the Lord how I feel too.
He who knows my strength and weakness more than I know myself
Continues to love me with a Father's tender care

Little do I realize at those times
It's truly me, not Him
Who misses the  blessing of prayer
If I slack in my prayer life
And choose to call on Him only in my need or fear
Then I become a stranger who acquaints Him for my wants
And have no desire to know Him for His want.

(May 18, 2005)

Tomorrow

I do not know what tomorrow holds for me
Do you?
So, why waste time in worrying
About something no one knows the answer.
"Worry not about tomorrow!" says the good old Book
And the wise of the past too had said the same.

Planning for tomorrow may keep you well organized
Hoping for better tomorrow keeps you healthy
Dreaming big for life ahead would  make you courageous
And saving for tomorrow puts you financially stable

If your investments of time, talent and money
could make your life on earth a better tomorrow
How much more investment is needed
to have a secured life in the world beyond ours?

(May 14, 2005)

Today

Each day is a gift from God
Let's not take this gift for granted
For if we do, we are sure to miss the beauty of it.
If I choose to spend my time in complaining about it
I'm sure to grief the heart of giver of this gift.
And if I am prone to waste it by poor choices
I can blame no one but me
Me... alone.

But, if I see each day as a gift
And accept it with a heart of gratitude
No one would see me with a bad attitude
And those around me too would be blessed
to have a great and pleasant day

If I waste no time in worrying about tomorrow
but take hold of today-the present from above
And treat it as if I will not have a chance to
See this day again,
My outlook on life would change for the better
 Joy and peace would follow me around all day.


(May 09,2005)

How to Approach the Throne of God

How do I approach the throne of God?
I mean, how do I stand in prayer before God?
Is there a right or wrong posture when I pray?
Should I be always on my knees
Or can I lay on bed and still pray?
Should my eyes be closed when I reach out to you in prayer
Or can they be wide open even when my heart is bowed down before you in prayer?
Does it matter at all to You, O God
How we stand,sit or kneel in prayer?

You are God, the Holy One
The Creator of heaven and earth
You are the King of kings
And Lord of lords
The mighty One, Alpha and Omega.
To You my majesty, it doesn't  matter how I position my body
It's the posture  of my heart and the yearning of my soul
You desire the most.

David the Man after Your own heart
Sang all his sweet psalms
in so different postures
Some bowing down on his knees
some standing with his arms raised
And some laying down and greeting the dawn with praise in his lips
Sometimes in the shelter of the darkest cave
Or while on fleeing  from invading enemies
From whatever place or whenever time David raised his voice towards heaven
You always heard his prayers
And David knew that very well in his heart.

Yes, my Lord,
It doesn't matter how I stand
how long I pray
Or how beautifully I sound
You accept my prayers as an offering
As long as my heart is in right position before You.
Whether it's just a silent prayer
A song of praise
Or a letter I pen to You in my journal
(Date: 02/17/2005)

Why Do I Write?

Why do I Write? "It's a writing exercise which would make you to write better" advised most authors and I thought of buying into it.

I do not write because of the love I've for it or I cannot help without doing it. I've heard other writers telling that writing is something that brings joy and meaning to their lives. I wish I could tell the same, but I can't. Because I do not like to lie to myself or to others, I must acknowledge that I do not feel the enjoyment they are talking about.

Perhaps in my school going days, when day dreaming and reading were my hobbies, writing was something I loved to do. Imagination ran wild when I put my fountain pen on paper to write essays for my language art class. Being voracious readers,my friends and I used to write stories of our own draw pictures of the characters and scenes on notebooks and share with each other to entertain us on our spare times.

Creative writing was something that set my fingers to dance, my heart to race and my grades to go higher. Captivated my writing, my teachers asked me to read out my essays in front of my class many a times. I had won prizes too at school writing competition. But never did any teacher took the time to convey to me that I had the gift of writing nor encouraged me to continue to write even after my high school years. Probably I would have taken my writing seriously and pursued a writing career if only someone would have given me the encouragement.

Today it's a different story. After many years of lapse in creative writing, my interest in trying out different recipes in cooking made me want to write a cookbook. To learn how to write a cookbook, I enrolled myself in a correspondence course in writing, which paved my way to get some of my articles and poems published in newspaper and Christian magazines.

Though I didn't end up writing a cookbook, I did become a devotional columnist for a Christian Writers Fellowship magazine for five years, founded and led a writers group for a few years and had been blogging for years to share my thoughts and experiences.

However, the process of writing is still a struggle for me. So, why am I still keep on writing, you may ask. Being a person who is ever ready to quit if things become difficult, I should have given up writing long ago. But,when I got into writing, I was determined to not to do one thing-never to give up even if things become tough. Also, I considered writing to be a wonderful avenue to serve the Lord. I wanted to give back to the Lord what He had in His goodness given me. So, whenever writing became a struggle, which was the case always, instead of giving into my natural tendency of feeling down in self-pity, I plowed through writer's block and self-doubt with determination and discipline. I'm glad that I did so,because today writing has become a habit which has brought its fruits I surely enjoy.
(Date: 08/21/2004)